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"What I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry. Yer first ma suffered a great deal because of me, and so have you. I can't look back on what I done, without feeling shame." Josiah swallowed the lump in his throat. He was determined not to cry in front of Mary. "Do you think... maybe, you might fergive me?"

It only took Mary a moment's thought before nodding, "yes."

"I'm obliged to you."

Grinning, Mary resumed her meal.

After breakfast, Josiah cleaned and loaded Mary's pistol. Emma was still asleep, so Josiah was careful to keep quiet as he got out his snowshoes and a buffalo robe to leave.

"When will you be back?" asked Mary, following Josiah outside on hands and knees.

"That depends. You reckon God will help me?"

Mary's head bobbed up and down in an emphatic, "yes."

"You seem mighty confident. You reckon God answers prayer?"

Mary again nodded. "You are now a Christian, ain't you?"

Josiah chuckled. "Look after yer ma, and let her sleep as long as she wants. There ain't nothing to eat, anyway, so she might as well save her strength. Keep to the lodge, and I'll try to be back afore sundown." Closing his heavy coat, Josiah put on his fox skin cap and headed off toward the open valley.

Strong winds and a hidden sun kept Josiah cold well into the afternoon. He had hoped after all his repenting and trying to make things right, that food would suddenly appear in front of his gun sight. Wasn't God pleased with him? Josiah wasn't sure. How could he know if God wasn't still waiting for him to do more?

The center of the day came and went, and Josiah's empty stomach weakened his legs, dulled his judgment, and made his spirits even lower than before. It was difficult to believe God had forgiven him when starvation was staring his family in the face.

With staggering steps, Josiah talked into the air as though God were walking right beside him.

"I've surrendered my soul to You, so the only thing left to give is my life. If Yer needing it, then take it. I give it gladly. Only, save Emma and Mary. They ain't deserving to be left out here with no one to take care of them."

Josiah's breath labored, and his legs felt like dead weights. He didn't know how much further he could press forward without collapsing. He had come close to death before, but he never had so much to lose. The thought of Emma slowly wasting away from hunger kept prodding him to go on. When cold threatened to rob him of his consciousness, Josiah pictured Mary, pining for something to eat.

Sinking to his knees, Josiah stared up at the snowing heavens. "God, I reckon I'm at the end of my rope. I've bin all over this valley, and there ain't hide nor hair of any game. I could go farther, but I ain't got the strength. I don't mind dying so much, if it weren't fer Emma and Mary."

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